Good Day!

I had a good day. This weekend will be organizing my blogs. I had gone out to lunch by myself and then my friend met me and we got a shake. We are doing positive affirmations which is very good to boost ones self-esteem which we both need very much.

I started to not feel well again.

Close Call

My mom and sister had a very close call today. My mom's car caught on fire due to a fuel leak. Thanks Be To God, they are both fine and neither of them were hurt. My mom was not out of the card before the car started smoking, but she was out of the car before it was on fire. My sister was shook up over it, but who wouldn't be? I know I would have freaked out too!

Thank you Lord Jesus for protecting my mom and sis!

Lunch at El Pollo Loco

Today Ritsuko and I had lunch at El Pollo Loco. It was really good. We are at the library now. I am going bowling later with AMH and I am really looking forward to it.

So very depressed

I am so depressed I could scream!! I am so fed up that I can scream again! I do not want to talk to anybody at all; I don't want to do anything at all. If it was not hot in my room and if I had a shade on my windows, I would almost stay in my room for several days and not leave. I did not want to talk to anybody at church yesterday, but I found myself talking to Pam Bell and her daughter Michele, as well as Donna. Right now though I feel that it is beyond repair and I am at the point where I could crawl into my closet and lock myself in, so I can not come out. However, I have no closet where I could do that and I guess that is a good thing because I am pretty sure that is exactly what I would do. I feel like my life is so worthless and that I am a let down to my parents; they don't need me around. When I can move out; I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody not even my friends, at least not for a couple of months. That is not good I know, but that is certainly how I feel. I felt so depressed yesterday that I shamefully did not even go and greet Patty or really anybody yesterday! I had a headache and wished I was home in bed. If I had not gone to the playground, I would not have even talked to Donna, Pam, or Michele, though I was mostly being polite to Donna because I do not particularly like her.

I wanted so much to run and not come back. I do not even want to go to church on Sunday; maybe not for the entire summer and I also do not want to go to my group tomorrow. In fact, maybe it would be a lot better if I just kept to myself for the next 5 or 10yrs. If I move that is likely what I will do, but why would anyone care? I know they do, but why? I'm just a worthless excuse for a human being.